First Impressions: Cloud Strife
by N.T. Embe
Summary: "Soa! His hair is spikier than mine!" - An insight into the mind of Dart Feld as he talks openly about his impressions of Cloud Strife. Paired with "First Impressions: Dart Feld" by PorcupineCuty. Insight fic written to PorcupineCuty's "Secret Stardust"
1. Cactus Head

**Title:** First Impressions: Cloud Strife

**Rating:** R (Just in case…)

**Theme:** Insights

**Pairings/Characters:** Dart Feld and Cloud Strife

**Spoilers/Warnings:** Anything from either game. You have been warned.

**Time Period:** N/A

**Summary:** When we first met… I thought he was an exotic cactus. Now, I kinda wish he was. Most exotic cactuses don't want to kill me, for one. Though on another note, I have the feeling they'd make better conversation than him too. But hey! He can't be all that bad, right?

**Word Count:** 869

**Dedication:** To the boys. Because you're both so special to Rain and me. We love you dearly.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Legend of Dragoon or Final Fantasy VII. But I own my imagination, and that'll be quite enough for what I have in mind. ;3

**A/N:** Believe it or not, this _is_ a more serious addition to the fic _Secret Stardust_ that I'm writing with **PorcupineCuty** (Rain) (which can be found on her profile by the way—check it out!). I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but hey! All we have to go on is crack for the time being! Still, I think you'll find these little trips into the minds of Dart and Cloud to be quite enlightening if you give them the chance.

. . . . . . .

Chapter One: Cactus Head

. . . . . . .

I can't say our way of meeting was exactly…ah…preferred. Nothing about it turned out well. Though I guess I can't say my day was going good to begin with. Then again, no one expects a small tug at your pants to be a perfectly innocent looking bunny. Let alone suddenly being surrounded by the critters and then promptly abducted by them. Yeah…definitely can't say it was one of my better experiences with small animals.

At first I freaked out, of course. Then I tried begging, pleading—heck, I even tried to bribe the little rainbow-riding guys. Told 'em I knew this small brunette that would _love_ to have them stay _forever_ in her room. But uh…maybe that last part didn't sound too good to them either. Some of the dread must have come across in my voice when I told them that, because they…well…they…dropped me.

To be quite honest, I brushed off my landing like nothing…but I was embarrassed. To land on him like that! I'm not exactly a lightweight, and that guy's got to weigh less than me. Not to mention how he rubbed it in. Geez…give a guy a break why don't yah! It wasn't _my_ fault they dropped me there! …or…maybe it was. But, uh…I don't think I'll be telling him that any time soon.

Point is…we started off on the wrong foot. And yeah, it was kind of fun pushing his buttons once I figured out how easily he got ticked off—that's _always_ fun. Meru taught me that much. It was _I_ that taught her the fun starts to go away when the Must-Kill-Dirty-Blonde-Spiky-Haired-Annoyance mode gets activated. Or, in her case, Blue-Ponytailed-Annoyance. But who's checking?

When things reached that point, it was deeeeefinitely not going to be good. Who knew I'd actually be _glad_ to see those rabbits again? Not me, that's for sure. Though that still doesn't bode well for the future if we get dropped off in the same place together again. Plus side is, this time I'll try _not_ to aim for the blonde. Down side, if he lands on me, I'm about 96% sure he's going to try to strangle me. Aaaaannnd that won't be good.

I don't know how strong he is yet, but hey—in the middle of running away from a giant, green octopus monster, I _did_ notice that he was….

From the very beginning I could tell he wasn't your average man. It wasn't his clothing, weapon, or appearance otherwise that gave it away. It wasn't the lithe body he clearly had under those clothes—I mean, hello. I fell on the guy. You can tell. Don't ask me how. That's ah…something for another time. …I didn't do anything weird, okay. So stop thinking that.

But even before I saw the way he fought, or the speed and skills he had, you could tell where he'd been. Sure, the first look out of them was a glare, but his eyes and his face gave it away. He'd been through stuff. Quite a bit of stuff. Nothing I know about, and nothing I expect I'll ever know about. But he's…got a lot behind him, and still in him. Don't ask me how I know. It's just…something you can tell. Without being smart or experienced like I am, and I'm not saying that to sound arrogant. I've been through my fights, and I've had my big issues come and go. My life's been changed drastically from how things once were…and I can tell that he's not too far out of the same situation himself.

…still, I hope he doesn't kill me. The man's got some serious issues still clinging to him if he wants to kick _my_ ass for just being…well…SOCIABLE.

Soa! I never _knew_ a man that adamant about wanting to be alone! Come on! How bad can company be? …on second thought, maybe it's a woman in his life. Soa knows they can be…ach…painstaking and…yeesh. Okay, forget I brought it up. Let's not talk about women, huh? They're just…too big a subject to get into right now.

…on a completely different side note though, do you think he'll kill me if I asked what was up with his hair? Not that my hair's much better, but still. His seems to have a bit more…boing to it, to put it one way. Till it got wet. Heh heh….

_Anyway!_ All joking aside, the man confuses me. I don't really know what to think of him besides the obvious. And it doesn't look like his shell's going to be cracking anytime soon. Not sure if I want it to though, all things considered. He reminds me almost too much of…yeah….

What do you think? If I mention Rose, will she kill me? …ah well! Guess I'll find out the hard way. In the meantime, I'm just going to try to _live_ for the time being. Maybe push a few more buttons…! And if I start losing body parts, well…! That's my cue to stop! Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go and try to direct my flight path _away_ from the blonde porcupine. '_Scuse_ me!

**Author's Note:** So this is the first sneak-peak into what's going on in Dart's mind about Cloudy! Mwahahahaha! What'd you think? If you want to talk directly to Dart about anything he said, go ahead and ask him in your review! He'll be happy to answer it in the next chapter!

Remember! This fic is one out of a pair! For the other one, trot over to check out **PorcupineCuty**'s profile and her counterpart fic _First Impressions: Dart Feld_. Now we get to see what Cloud thinks about Dart! Ha-ha! XD And remember, these two fics are based off of Rain's and my co-authored fic _Secret Stardust_! If you want to know what the boys are referencing, go ahead and check it out on Rain's profile!


	2. Who's A Pansy! I Ain't No Dandelion!

**Word Count:** 1,122

**Dedication:** To Rain… thank you, for giving me a second chance… _way_ more than the two times it was expected.

**A/N:** It's been a long time since we've worked on this. You can kind of tell. Rain's and my second chapter of Secret Stardust took a little while to get totally into and on the right track. But I guess you can say we're blundering our way through it just like Cloud and Dart are. –Smiles- So with that being said, I hope you enjoy our second chapters of insights too, with our companion series First Impressions. Remember, Cloud's thoughts are hosted on **PorcupineCuty**'s profile under First Impressions: Dart Feld. Enjoy, everyone!

. . . . . . .

Chapter Two: Who's A Pansy? I Ain't No Dandelion!

. . . . . . .

I think… I'm starting to see a pattern.

Okay, forget for a moment all the chaos what with the sand-diving, river-chucking and…random flying lizards….

Yeahhh…still having trouble getting over that one.

_Anyway!_ Prickle-puss over there…IS SUCH A STICK. AHHHHHRRRRRGGGGHHHHH! I want to rip my hair out! Instead, I just gagged myself with my headband and moped about in the vortex for a few heartbeats, because as far as I know, there are _no_ walls in here I can bang my head against.

Sure, I've known people like him before. I don't exactly…have a knack for getting such stiffs to open up. They stick around, but uh…usually because they have no choice but to. Ahem, a certain blue-armored woman comes to miiiind…. In fact, I don't even think I was ever able to completely figure Rose out either. Even _with_ all—or well, _most_—of the puzzle pieces laid out before me. But that's a topic for another time, I guess. My new dilemma is…yeah. The guy whose name I STILL don't know, because he STILL won't tell me! Great _Soa!_ It's just a name!

…mm, maybe it's not.

Alright, so let's go over this. What do I know about Mr. Uptight-and-Doomy-Jerkness so far? Well, he's blonde as can be, has considerably fair skin. Hands…haven't noticed anything hard-working other than what he seems apt with. Namely, swordsmanship. Uh, the drifter thing…. He as much admitted to it, so it's safe to say, I think, that he's been in the mercenary business. At least at one point or another. Never really met anyone that seriously worked like that. It's not like it's a common thing. Mostly, I thought it was myth. I guess not, for him…. That would explain a lot of his mood too! And his closed-shell attitude. Serious, but not unwilling to harmlessly put someone in their place if he has to. Suppose that means I'm not a threat to him. …heh, not sure whether to be proud of that or not. Guess I'll go with the former!

What else? His eyes…are _WEIRD_. No, seriously! I mean, blue eyes—okay, got that. Not common, but not that big of a deal anyway, considering I doubt we're…from the same _place_, if you get what I mean. And who _knows_ what they've got there! But there's…I don't know. Something about those eyes…doesn't seem…I don't know, _normal_ even. It's not even—well maybe it _is_ normal.

…huh. Maybe I should ask him about that.

Okay, so moving on! We've got a guy with considerable strength—Soa…the way he threw me into that river? Alright, I've seen my fair share of strongmen. Come on, look at Kongol. Speaks for itself. But there's that weirdness again. That…'not so quite human' kind of power he has behind just skin level. I think it has something to do with his eyes….

I don't even want to think about where a man like that got a strength like this. Look at him! You only have to see the look on his face to know he…he hates a lot of what he is. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, uhmm….

Maybe…hate is the wrong word. But, well…there isn't a friendliness with it, exactly. I su-_ppose_ it's useful. Buuuttttt…. Mmm…. I can't quite put my finger on it.

…this is a man that's not going to open up any time soon. I don't have to know Rose to know the reasons why. And maybe I don't know the reasons why. I'm only just guessing anyway. I can try to pin a pattern, and well…I think I might be on to something. Whether I'm right or not? …well I guess for now that depends on if this—_this_, rabbits and swirling vortexes, _this_—thing keeps happening. As long as it does, I'm willing to keep betting I'll be hanging around Daisy-with-a-Bad-Hair-Day.

…there's a lot of things on my mind about him. Not like I got much else to think of. People at home? They've got their own business and problems to take care of now. The rest of them? May not like it, but they can survive a while without me. Not like I didn't up and leave for eight years and they were the worse without me, at least in Shana's case. Err…but we won't be getting into that.

I wonder if he has anyone at home that's missing him.

Huh, wait now. I wonder….

Maybe that's what some of that look in his eyes is.

If I bring _that_ up…hoo…. This time I think he _would_ kill me. Better leave it for another time then….

Heh heh. He does have a real humane side to him though. And that works its way just as well into this. Makes sense why he'd want to come off as a hard ass all the time. Because underneath that, there's the guy that actually picks _up_ the annoyance and guides him—whether the annoyance realizes it at first or not.

HE LIKES MY COOKING! AHAHAHAHAHAAHA! VICTORY! VICTORY IS MINE~! I FOUND HIS WEAKNESS! Who SAYS you can't get to the heart of a guy through his stomach? I BEG to differ! Ha-HAH! Man oh man, did he EAT. Not as much as _me_ of course, but for such a lithe figure, I guess it makes sense. The guy's probably got slow metabolism, with how much he can eat and then just…keep GOING without any sign of slowing! Great…he's definitely not going to indulge a whole lot of pit stops.

And hey. Makes me wonder…. Where does he think he's going all the time anyway? Deserted forest, not so deserted desert…and he's always on the move. Going somewhere? Trying to get away from whatever's after us—yeck, bunnies. I will NEVER LOOK AT YOU INNOCENTLY AGAIN! …then again I kind of lost all hope of a rabbit's innocence after…. Yeah…never believe the lie that forest animals are cute and cuddly! It's all LIES.

…okay, got to be honest here. I'm still shocked at the playful side. And the niceness. And the politeness. And the resourcefulness. Logical, obstinate in a good way, friendly to people who don't get on his nerves—that's the pattern I discovered earlier!—and underneath it all, a good guy who's been thrown...into way too many before to leave him completely unchanged. I'm…not going to ask about it. The only thing I'm really very sure of is that he….

Nah, maybe I won't say it. After all…I don't even know if I'm on the right track. Heh, Rose. Forgive me for that one.

…

BUT YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER ON ME! What luck! Running into your TWIN from another…WHEREVER. Boyyyy have I got a lot to tell YOUUUUU when I get back!


	3. What Kind of Man ARE You!

**Word Count:** 2,010

**Dedication:** To Rain and Cloud. You are both my inspiration and my joy. I hope that with the continuation of this that my other stories will continue now to flourish, and that we'll both be a little more beautiful and productive in the coming days~

**A/N:** Chapter Three is finally up! It's about time. -Chuckles- In the end, I do hope you're enjoying these trips! And I want to make sure to remind you to check out Rain's _First Impressions_ as well! I read her update for this chapter of _Secret Stardust_, and it's a gooood one! Here's to seeing you in our next update! Hope it's soon!

. . . . . . .

Chapter Three: What Kind of Man ARE You?

. . . . . . .

I… don't know what to think anymore. Everything about this guy, this weird, nameless, all-outer-shell guy is falling apart right in front of me, and I'm kind of lost as to how to take it. Maybe it's not so difficult to react to him, or even to lead him out a little bit. The guy is starting to make more and more sense to me. I think I'm figuring out how to act around him. And it's strange isn't it? That out of all the things I saw in this latest trip, strange boxes that give you massive speed or contain creatures in motion, buildings inside buildings that make a bazaar…. You would think my mind would be taken up with any one of those things over what I'm thinking of now, lost here—once again in the bunnies' vortex through the worlds, I'm guessing.

Nah. It's nothing else. Just a guy with a head of hair like a bleached, disproportionate mace.

Okay, okay. So I know I'm not usually the thinking type. Never admitted to being it! Didn't think I ever could be. Ugh… never wanted to be. But I'm… seriously… lost.

Why the ruse?

Why the distance and the gruffness, the harshness and the rude attitude when underneath that all are the different things that he—willingly or unconsciously—showed me this time around? Where… where did those things come from? Those actions he took and the reactions he had? What was up with that puppy? What was the look that he had on his face that I just missed before he caught himself? Why did he have to hide it in the first place? And really, does someone ever react to an animal like that? But I'm no fool, for all I'm a tomfool.

And it wasn't even just the puppy, although now I'm scrambling to try to figure out who this "him" might be that reminds him of a puppy dog. What kind of people exist like that? I've never met someone like that! Meru might be puppy-like, but she's more hyperactive and liable to chew everything to pieces with her little pointy chompers! And Shana's a… uh… well… I don't think I'd say she's a… a puppy…. Okay, we're just going to leave that one alone. Rose would definitely be a cat. Oh yeah. Totally a cat.

…wonder if I rubbed her behind the ears….

No! Nope! Not thinking about it now!

POINT… BEING…. I don't think I can say I've ever met a man who embodied a puppy dog. Maybe a full grown canine, in terms of loyalty or something, but a puppy? What kind of _man_ resembles a puppy? To me it… just doesn't strike a chord.

…but it did for this guy I've been tagging along with. I can tell it did. From the moment we walked into the store, I knew he was resistant but: once we got to that weird little cell for the puppies, I could tell something changed. Come on. It's not that hard to notice the guy was staring while I was making baby faces at the, duh, _babies_. It was like he forgot about me being there, even though I was right in front of him. Soa…. Heh. I'm willing to say he _did_ forget about me while we were there. When I put that puppy into his hand, and he took it into his arms… I even had to ask whether or not he'd had a dog before.

Caring comes naturally to him.

He's given off signs of it before, but this time, it was crystal clear like daylight sunshine. The puppy, the way he looked at it. The way he spoke to it, _interacted_ with it, and then… the way he _understood_ it. Heh…. Don't have to be half-animal to realize this man knows what he's doing. Though I've still got to wonder…. Where did he pick it up from? Surely having a stray to be nice with will mean a lot. Can't say I don't know how that feels like. But this runs deeper. Way deeper. I'm willing to bet my armor on it. I'm willing to bet my next _meal_ on it!

And it doesn't stop at animals as fun or friendly as puppies. Did you see how he immediately was able to affiliate himself with that kitten? Heck, I know she was going to be upset by my approach like that. But at that point, catching him like I did and sensing the weird, inward trail his emotions were taking him, I… I couldn't lead the guy straight into an uncomfortable or awkward situation. We've kind of had enough of those already. No thanks to the situations we're constantly being thrown into providing for most of them! But uh, getting back to the little cat: he really knew his way with her too! It was just… impressive at that point. Whether or not he's a stiff or a showoff or a loner, or whatever, he's definitely not able to hide his true self for long.

…kinda glad to be seeing it.

Not sure if he wanted me to though. But that's going to be a problem he'll have to face forward about! No chance he's slipping out on me now! Not when I've been able to learn so much about him in that strange world we went to! I don't even _care_ that I didn't get ANYTHING that was going on! I was so hopelessly lost that trying to make sense of it all was going to be hopeless anyway. Ha ha ha!

But this guy…. He still took the time out to explain things to me when I asked. And even when I didn't! Now that's a step above! The guy's getting used to me! Though it does kinda put me out that he knows so much more than me. Where's this guy from that he understands all these things that I've never seen? Half of them don't make any sense and aren't like any magic I've ever known. Maybe the magic they're used to is tied down to objects, which is why so many boxes and weird 'weapons' are solid in that world we were dropped into. He seemed to know his way through there pretty easily at least. He's got to be familiar with things. Someday, I'd like to get to know more about his world. Though… I think it's going to be really confusing.

Guess that's why I'm saving it for waaaay later! I'll probably learn enough just by sticking around with him anyway. And you can't tell me I'm not going to be seeing more of him. Three times? Yeah, come on. This isn't over yet. And I think he's finally beginning to see that too. Whatever is up with these bunnies, at least the journey's staying fun!

…he's good with kids too.

…he's seriously losing me.

I don't get him. How does a guy go off being so cold to everyone, and yet have such a _warm_ and friendly side to him? Why does he write off the first friendly stranger—though I guess our first meeting wasn't, uh, "friendly"—and yet show the kind side to….

…hey wait a minute. He… he did show that to me. _To_ me. For the first time! …this guy, this strange, experienced, know-it-all guy… looked out for me today. A lot. He showed me things, and he… made sure I didn't get myself seriously injured, because he knew I was up against a whole bunch of somethings that I didn't understand and probably never will fully. He… took care of me.

…well that's annoying and…

…thrilling.

Wow. "How does this work?" I want to ask him. "What's the catch? What makes you tick? Why are you this way one moment and that way the next?" But if I ask him that, he probably won't answer me. And if he does, he probably won't give me the answer that I'm looking for. Or! He'll surprise me like he's been doing and then I'll…!

…then I'll what?

…thinking about it now, I don't want to push the guy. If he's anything like Rose, and if I use any of the things I've learned from her, then I know not to pry. As much as Meru would disagree. But well, I'm stuck with the guy for now, so there's no sense in antagonizing him any more than I seem to do naturally. Besides, I think it might be… scary to see that other side of him. That side where his actions aren't guided by coarse and immediate emotions, but those deeper ones that are linked to… probably who he is, and where he's been, and what he's done. That, I think… would be scarier than finding out Shana had gotten the village to buy into her arranging a forced marriage to me. Ugh… makes me shudder to think of it. Er, but that's…

…nah, I'm lying there.

Still, it's intimidating looking into those eyes. He's seen a lot of things I haven't. He's been places I don't think I could ever imagine. Everything I don't know, he seems to treat like I would water and sky. But nothing about me surprises him or catches him off guard. He knows all there is to know about me? All the, maybe, "normal" things? I don't know… I wonder if he does. If he was smart—and I believe he is—he would know that's not true. Still, what places does he come from, and what does he know? What… makes him different from me? Why can't I seem to… even begin to connect on a normal level with him? Every time he opens up, it's not to anyone around him—especially not to me. It's to a small ball of fur or a little kid he's just met.

Am I just too unlike him? Is it because he comes from some place so far from mine that there's nothing we can begin to connect on?

Nah. Neither of those are true. Otherwise, we really would have just gone our separate ways—bunnies or no bunnies.

Whatever this man has in him, and whatever things he's carrying that he refuses to share with me, I'm not going to try to take them. There's no way I'd ever take something from him unwillingly. Especially when everything he has to give is rooted so deeply to his core. No… trying to play with someone like this, it's like tearing my wings off my back in the middle of flight. It destroys every purpose and truth I've ever been given and taken to heart in my life. Everything, I now know, that I've ever found.

Not knowing what he has going on, or what he's thinking, I'm just glad for one thing in the end: the guy cared. Not just about me, but about a lot of things. And he's going to continue caring, because I doubt he'd stop until the day he died, if even after that he wouldn't continue if he could!

…come on, he called me by my name.

Accident or not, he didn't take it back.

In the end, that just means he ain't turning back. He's going to come on and face whatever this brings.

So, I'm going to keep on going just like I am and give him something to approach! What else am I here for?

I think now I know though… why I don't know his name, and why when I finally find out… that it's going to mean that things really are going to have changed. Forever this time. He seems like a man who often does "Forever." …well, I've got years to spare. Who knows? Maybe this will turn out to be a pretty decent deal!

I'm looking forward to getting to meet that part of him someday. Until then… uh… why is it getting colder? Don't you people know it's summer?


End file.
